I travel down the dusty road, driving cautiously. Another year. I’m doing this again. I’m taking part in The Gauntlet (45.1 MB), where every teenager in the county is standing by the side of this road, a road that had an impressive 360-day stretch of total silence, each teenager armed with a vinyl sign in one hand and Snapchat in the other, all trying to coax us into one of two fiercely competing fireworks stands. I pull into a gravel lot, past some wheezy bouncy houses, step out of the car, walk inside the store, grab a yellow basket, and get to work. I’m not here for fun, Jack. No way. I’m here for work. It’s my job — no, it’s my thrill — to find the weirdest, awkwardest, worst, clip-artiest, mis-translatediest, shoots-flaming-ballsiest fireworks packaging.

Welcome back, my friends. Happy 4th of July.

To relive some of the glorious photos from my past trips, please enjoy 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, and finally, 2013.

Let’s get started.

This year, we had a beautiful smorgasbord, featuring:

Pink Floyd’s Dream Nearly Realized

An Extraordinarily Sad Elvis Presley

Uncomfortable Sexism / Racism / Alcoholism

Eric Wareheim out of Tim and Eric

Every Kid’s Favorite Thing: Palace Intrigue

Super Steroidal Uncle Sams

A Video Game I Want Badly

Copyright Infringement (They Tried To Hide The Hat With Stickers)

Every Kid’s Favorite Thing: Horseshoe Crabs

Computers

A Literal Train Wreck

RRRRRRRRRRRRR

One of My Favorite YouTube Videos

The Best Typo (I Hope)

The Best Movie Sequel Never Made

And, Finally, Most Importantly, This Guy

Yes. Yes. See you next year!