I might not be as active on Twitter as I once was — honestly feeling a little lost between Mastodon and Bluesky right now — but I had one compulsive tradition that I, and possibly no one else, really enjoyed: rounding up and documenting the latest #new snacks and things from the grocery store.

I posted a few in my first post back on this blog, and if you really want to take a trip back in time, see all of my #new posts on Twitter!

Well, it’s almost May 2023, so let’s catch up!!

We start with:

🙂 Ritz Toasted Chips: Everything
🙂 Tim’s Hawaiian Moloka’i Sweet & Spicy
😕 Pipcorn Twists: Cinnamon & Sugar
😄 Tim’s Cascade: Dungeness Crab Spice

😕 Doritos Dip: Cool Ranch Jalapeño
😀 Doritos Dip: Spicy Nacho

🥲 Mulino Bianco Cuoricini
🥲 Mulino Bianco Pan di Stelle
🥲 Mulino Bianco Galletti
🙂 Mulino Bianco Baiocchi

(For years I have wondered why Pepperidge Farm has a near-total lock on the “fancy cookie category” in most grocery stores. So I was very surprised to see pasta-maker Barilla enter the ring with this lineup, in similar-sized packaging. Unfortunately, I’m sad to report that most of the cookies were extremely dry, crumbly, and almost flavorless, with the exception of a small Nutella boost from the Baiocchi. I hope someone else can try to take the coveted Pepperidge Crown.)

😕 Tate’s Cookie Bark: Dark Chocolate
😕 Tate’s Cookie Bark: Milk Chocolate
🙂 Reese’s Dipped Animal Crackers

😊 Reese’s Big Cup with Reese’s Puffs

(Similar to the famous “Oreoboros” — the Cookies and Cream flavored Oreos — creating this snack ran a great risk of tearing apart the fabric of the universe imho.)

😁⭐️ Nutella Biscuits
🙂 Nutella B-Ready

(Those Nutella Biscuits are one of the best cookies I’ve had in a very long time, so I put a star emoji, but warning, one goes a long way.)

😕 Pepsi Peeps (a.k.a. Peepsi)
😕 Coke Move
🙂 Zapp’s Pretzel Stix: Voodoo
😀 Cinnamon Toast Crunch Creamy Cinnamon Spread

Then Cabel Went To Canada

How about a quick roundup of some snacks from our neighbors to the North?!?

😕 Hardbite Ketchup, Spicy Ketchup, Southwest Chili, and All Dressed (they’re… fine)
😀 Hardbite Wasabi Ranch and Smoked Paprika

🙂 Ruffles Poutine
😁 Miss Vickie’s All Dressed Up

(I’ve never seen the ‘Up’ added to ‘All Dressed’ and this really shook me, but it was real good)

😁 Lay’s Magic Masala
😁 Lay’s Chicken and Tomato

😕 Cadbury Micro Mini Eggs

(First of all, “Mini Micro” is very funny. Second, I gave these to my trainer Emma, who does not constantly eat garbage like I do because she’s far smarter than I am, but who loves Mini Eggs. She reported that the ratio was off, too small, not enough coating, simply not as good, but possibly good for baking. Thanks Emma! Because this post truly screams “fitness”, if you want to work out in the Portland area, I recommend REP Fitness!)

😕 Chips Ahoy! Cadbury Mini Eggs

(How did Chips Ahoy! become our default national cookie? It’s not a good cookie, right? Just me?)

Now, Back To America

🤔 Pillsbury Cookie Sandwich
🙂 Pillsbury Soft Baked: Cinnamon Toast Crunch
🙂 Pillsbury Soft Baked: Lucky Charms

🙂 Ok Go! Cereals

(I only bought this because Post is in the middle of a lawsuit with — surprise! — the band Ok Go, and I thought this was my one chance. It’s weird just adding water and having milk.)

😕 Zapp’s Thinz Bourbon St Smokey Sweet
😀 Tim’s Cascade Special Batch 98: Steak & Onion

😁 Pop•Tarts Banana Bread
😕 Pop•Tarts Apple Jacks

😕 Doritos Tangy Ketchup
😁 Doritos Hot Mustard

God, that’s enough for now.

As if the pandemic didn’t take enough of a toll on my body continuing to sample garbage does not help, so a huge shout out to everyone in the Panic office (which is at last feeling more vibrant these days) for eating most of all of this trash! Phew.

Tried any of these? Let me know what you think!

Best,
Cabel